The realistic life of an artist (Being paid for shows, idiot promoters)

So as my followers know, and my non-followers don’t know, I am just fully about this entertainment life. From dancer, to musician, to singer, to comedian, to blogger, to you name it, I do it. The best thing about it is that I get to do what I love doing, and surprisingly people come back week after week just to see what it is I’m doing. See now that makes zero sense to me because I always get the feeling that anybody can do this, yet I receive comments everyday saying things like “You’re so funny”, and “Your music is amazing”. Don’t get me wrong I don’t want to come across as arrogant, I also receive comments saying “F**k you dumbass monkey n***er, you’re not funny, and your music sucks”. People sure are crazy. So I’m gonna give you a little insight into the realistic life of an artist, and for those of you who feel like you already know how our lives play out, here’s a random disclaimer…

Now lets begin.

Depending on which form of art you choose, you will get a variety of different reactions from people. Tell somebody you’re a singer, they will probably brush it off with a “That’s nice…” as if they are subconsciously telling you, “I ain’t buying your music!” However, if you open a conversation by telling somebody you’re a comedian, 90% of the time they are gonna ask you to tell them a joke. In which I respond, “Show me the joke money.” As an artist in general, we lead frustrating lives. So my music is on Youtube, and Soundcloud, along with my email address. If you’re a company that does events, I’m really not so difficult to contact. The most frustrating thing about being an artist, is the dumbass offers we get. “Hi Tyrael, I love your music, would you like to perform at xyz event next week?” I’m thinking great, finally my 15 years of writing lyrics, working on my voice, learning to produce music and compose, is finally paying off. “Sure thing, my current rate ranges between £150 and £400 depending on how many people are attending”, this is where sh*t gets f**ked. “Oh well we won’t be able to pay you, but if you perform, it’s good promotion for you.” Get the hell out of here, so if you work at subway, and you make sandwiches for a living, and I want you to make a sandwich in your SPARE time. Next thing im trying to pay you in promotion… Are you really going to take it? What kind of bulls**t is this?

Another perfect example of how dumb this is; a plumber comes out to fix your sink, “That will be £80”, then you reply “Oh well I won’t be able to pay you, but think of it as practice, and I will tell all of my friends how good you are.” Artists, if you are performing for free, stop that s**t, I have performed at enough free venues to tell you that, it gets you nowhere. If you’re willing to work for free, then record yourself and put it on Youtube, or Soundcloud. After a year, you will probably have been seen by 200 people. Isn’t that better than making some other clown money by performing and receiving nothing?

Life as an artist ain’t all bad though, if you are making a couple of dollars here and there, technically, you are being paid for your work. This makes you a professional! Now telling a girl at a bar you’re a professional music producer, or professional blogger, sounds a lot better than Underground rapper. Throw the word professional in front of whatever it is you do, you are gonna get all the chicas, believe me. My boy earns a few hundred from Google Ads a month, not enough to live on, but when he approaches the ladies he doesn’t tell them that. The only line he uses, “Hi, I work for Google...” guaranteed my friend, guaranteed!

The life of an artist is tough, but we have a couple of perks here and there, being independent feels great though. Most artists aren’t eating solely off their work, but at least they still have that chance available, even if it is a 1% chance. Beats not doing anything other than work a 9-5 and having a 0% chance. Finally, the best part about being an artist, when you are actually great at your craft, forget the fans, you get to meet other artists who are amazing, who you otherwise wouldn’t have ever met. My network of dope artists is crazy, I mean we all pretty much broke, but the talent is wild. And if all else fails, you have to remember, a slice of toast, is just a burned piece of bread!

Money Makers Online and Making a living (Myths Busted)! Roulette, Youtube and Ebay

If you have met me before, you will know that I constantly come up with all of these phenomenal ideas; that if executed correctly, could make everybody involved millionaires. Not to toot my own horn or anything. Just this morning, it hit me... Yet another idea on how to make some money online, if you've ever seen Only Fools and Horses, I'm pretty much Del Boy. If you havn't seen it, what are you doing with your life.

Anyways, I'm sure you didn't come to this page to listen to me go on and on about how great I am, so I'll just give you some tips right now on definite money makers online. You ready? Ok, let's do this.

1. The Epic Roulette Hack

So when I was in University, I discovered a fool proof formula to win at roulette. Guaranteed to win every time. Now in theory, it was brilliant, let me explain it and try to find a flaw in the logic. Bet £1 on red, if it comes up red, you just doubled your money. If it comes up black, your next move will be to bet £2 on red, followed by £4 on red, and continue to double your bet until it comes up red, and you make all of your money back plus the original £1. 

Can you guess what the problem is? and the reason I had to give this trick up quickly? Well my curious friend, if you square your initial bet of £1, 20 times (If it comes up black 20 times in a row), the next bet you have to put in will be over £500,000. Go ahead, do the maths yourself. I discovered this the hard way, when I bet £62 on red because black came up 7 times in a row. For sure red was gonna come up eventually, but come on man, you really expect me to gamble my entire student loan, with hopes of becoming £1 in profit. That's a madness. Anyways, try it for yourself sometime, the adrenaline rush is unreal.

2. Make money real quick on Youtube

Making money quickly by starting a Youtube channel. So many people I know have tried this, and you can tell they have tried this because they always have a look of defeat on their face. I've been running my Youtube channel for over 3 years, more like 5 to be honest since I had a Youtube channel before this one. To begin with, you're gonna suck, that's that. Everybody sucks when they start, you won't realize you suck, but trust me, you will suck. When I see my early videos, I feel the need to take them down, but they are still racking me views so meh... A view is a view.

So the reason why people expect one thing with Youtube, then end up getting a completely different experience, is because they don't stick to it. It's kind of off putting when you are spending 4 hours on a video, uploading, and getting 2 views. Believe me, I was there at one point. If you are trying to make a quick buck, never gonna happen. Try 5 years for a few lousy pounds a month.

3. Selling on Ebay

So I tried this one a while ago, it seems legit to be honest, you buy items cheap, sell em for higher. But what about those times you accidentally over value something, because you feel like you could get a better deal on it. You end up paying a few hundred for something, and nobody wants that sh*t. You just got scammed friend. Ok, this one isn't too bad, you can definitely make a living off of this, but it's a lot of work, effort, and storage. Also, you have to be willing to flop a few times. I mean, don't spend all of your life savings on one product thinking it's gonna make you rich. Only to find out, nobody wants that crap, that was last years model... Unlucky.

To be honest, the problem with making money online, or making a living based on your own hard work; most people give up when they don't see immediate results. But then, why would you stick to something if it isn't going anywhere, it really is a waste of time. You could be working for Walmart and making $10 an hour, it doesn't sound like much, but it beats working hard for $0 an hour, or -$10 an hour.

If you take it serious, give it a year or learning, practice, and letting it build, you will definitely be making money, but you have to be in it for the long haul. Too many people give up when they see no results. With my Youtube channel for example, I wernt seeing any results, so what did I do to counter this? I tried a different method, eventually after around the millionth method, I finally nailed it.

That's what you gotta do, get nailing my dargs.

How much can you make busking? (The Secrets to Street Performing as a living)

So today I was just looking through the messages in my dance crew’s group chat; and I couldn’t help but notice while I was eaves dropping that a little debate broke out. “Bro, we aren’t making as much money as before, we have too many rules”, followed by “No, you aren’t listening to what I said, that’s why we aren’t making money.” Anyways, as usual, Tyrael had the answers to all their problems, and for those of you who believe Tyrael doesn’t hold the key, here’s a random disclaimer…

Now let’s begin.

Ok, so after busking for the past 8 months, possibly longer with my own crew, I have come to a few conclusions. If you want to make a living from this, you best make sure your group is on point, and are communicating well. One of my friends from a different crew told me his crew make around £100 each a night. Now I don’t know how many hours they busk for a night, and I havn’t seen their routine, but he told me it isn’t to do with their dancing, it was mostly the way they communicate, and the songs they played. My crew on the other hand, when we first started, I remember making around £30 each a day, for 2 hours work. Yer, that sounds pretty nice right, but we were there at peak times, and peak times only last around 2 hours a day, so it was aiiiggghtttt!

Recently, I havn’t been busking too much due to an injury. Now I am hearing through the grapevine that my crew are making quite a bit less than before. This doesn’t make sense to me, surely you should improve and make more money, but after busking once again, I noticed that we weren’t following the same formula as before. We had a lot of people in our crew, some were focused on making money, and others focused on just having fun. Unfortunately, that was the downfall; you need to all be on the same page. Finding the right balance is key, here is a list of tactics that I have noticed to be pretty useful along the way.

1. Communication: This is number one, because it is the top secret as to how to make plenty of money while busking. You could be the most amazing dancer, or musician, if you can’t communicate with the audience, why do they want to give their money to just another dance crew or musician. They don’t give a f**k about you, they just got a free show #winning. HOWEVER, If you directly interact with somebody watching, and you make them smile or laugh, 90% of the time, they will feel bad walking away without giving you anything. So use that little method, to trick your entire audience into feeling like you’re their friend. Sure, it seems fake, but only because people don’t usually interact in day to day life.

2. Support each other: So this sounds pretty much elementary, but I’ll tell you, in the past 2 months, we had a shift in the way we interact with each other, and it has been our downfall. To all of my dancers out there, if somebody in your crew messes up, what the f**k are you doing laughing, and shouting “CRASH, CRASH, CRASH”. Sure, it doesn’t look professional if they mess up, but it looks 10x worse if the people who are supposed to be your brothers are laughing at it, and making it bigger than it is. Trust me, it’s happened while I was busking, somebody crashed, and next dudes were shouting “Crash”. Well… There goes another £10. Nobody wants to support you if you are making somebody else feel bad, ever heard of empathy?

3. Practice: If you are going for routines, or if you are a musician, you need to make sure your s**t is on point. How are you gonna step foot into Trafalgar Square, start playing a saxophone, and get every note wrong? That’s self explanatory, you aint making enough for a bus home. Alternatively, if you step into Bond Street (That’s where my people busk, Fridays at 8pm, come check us out), and a routine is sloppy, and out of time… Just don’t do the routine. Simple as that, you are hurting your own performance, stick to something simple that everybody can master, not something crazy that some will master and others will flop.

4. Bad Language/hurtful Jokes: Everybody loves a good hurtful joke… BUT, we only like them in the comfort of their own home, among our own friends. Not a bunch of dudes in the street, who you have never seen before. One of the boys I dance with is on the chubby side, so when communicating with the audience, they would joke with the audience about him being fat. This dude even started hiding in the back so he wouldn’t get picked on, but, like clockwork he still got called out. Until a single brave soul stepped up and told them to stop that… That brave soul… Was I *Puts shades on, walks away into the sunset*. Ok I’m back, the audience can see with their own eyes that there was a problem in that scenario, so obviously nobody found it funny, just awkward. Don’t make the audience feel awkward if you want their wallet.

5. Music: Finally, this one should have been number one. The type of music you play has to appeal to the masses. If you are playing some Gangster ish like F**k the Police by NWA, I guarantee people are gonna walk passed your show quickly without looking. Also the local committee or whatever those people are called will come over and ask you to turn down your music. Play some Gangnam Style, or Happy by Pharrell… Watch the swarms of tourists run over to watch, and throw money at you. You will even have the police smiling and watching, as long as you aren’t blocking foot traffic. The only downside is, a musician can only sell out for so long before they reach breaking point. If you are a classical sax player, and forced to play Justin Bieber – Baby, 5 hours a day; you’re gonna end up committing suicide.

Tips for Pulling an all nighter (Making that money while listening to the Final Fantasy 6 OST)

So it’s 5 in the morning, birds are chirpsing, the sun is rising, and I’m just getting into my nice warm bed after working all night. Sounds like a productive nights work right? Well you’re wrong. 5 minutes after getting into my bed, my phone starts going crazy, *Buzz Buzz Buzz* continuously. “Who the hell is this, texting me at 5.46 in the morning” I thought to myself. One of my colleagues had a great idea, “Tyrael, wake up, let’s finish off all of the work now, it might be gone when we wake up.” Brilliant idea, YOLO right?

So anyways, now I’m here at 6 in the morning with a glass of orange juice, bedroom fully lit up, listening to the Final Fantasy 6 OST on Youtube while working. I’m guessing, by the time the music stops playing, I would have done 3 hours of work. My theory is… The playlist on Youtube is around 3 hours, so boom, lay back and enjoy. It could be worse I guess… I could be a door to door salesman, I almost took that job back when I was unemployed. Going door to door trying to sell somebody elses product for a commission. I have never seen the point in that, I just figured I might as well make my own product and go door to door selling, why the hell am I working for somebody else with no salary, that’s called slavery.

Anyways, the best advice I can give for pulling an all nighter; fill up the room with as many snacks as humanly possible. You will put on a few pounds, but it is definitely worth it, gotta make that mula. Second tip, find your favourite movie, or video game, and just search for the sound track. It’s like having all of the joy of watching a movie, or playing a video game, but without having to think as much. After all, you know what they say, it takes a whole village, to raise a child.

Hard work pays off (Getting the job done vs Lazy Ass Ninjas) Blogs and Youtube

So earlier this week, I just happened to be chilling at a bar with one of my boys after training. A couple of Jyaygerbombs, a couple of beers, not the coolest ish I’ve ever done, but this story ain’t supposed to be cool; it’s supposed to motivate. Anyways, we were drinking it up, when he turns to me and says some sh*t like “Tyrael, f**k my life, your life is so much better than mine!” Wtf, one minute we drinking, talking about moving to the two eastern European looking chicas in the corner, next thing he’s talking to me about life. This dude’s lost it. “Real talk cuz, your just a lucky dude, you got a good job, your Youtube channel is popping off, and your working with some decent names in the music scene now.” This guy is nuts, and he got me thinking about how many excuses people make instead of just working hard. For those of you who do work hard and still have a crappy life, here’s a random disclaimer…

Now let’s begin…

Aight, so when people talk about how lucky I am, and they wish they could do what I’ve done, it pisses me off. You’re reading this post right now, as I’m writing this my blog has hardly any views, I started it this month, hasn’t even been picked up by Google yet, so I’m getting dead views. Half the people who just read that will be saying to themselves, “what a waste of time, that ain’t getting you nowhere, why don’t you just stop.” These people I like to refer to as… Haters! I got those exact same lines when I first started uploading videos on Youtube, “Why don’t you get a real job, it’s a waste of time.” Fam, why does it concern you? If I was at home playing Call of Duty everyday, you wouldn’t have sh*t to say.

The first 2 years sure I made plenty of mistakes, but 2 years after that, I’m getting almost 1000 views and 10 subscribers a day to my Youtube channel. Ok my bank aint saying sh*t but that’s minor, I’m building an empire here, you’re either with me or against me. Ok, so when people say hard work pays off, that ish is for real. How can you get anywhere, when you give up because you see no results. That’s some dumbness, like 2 views a day isn’t enough for you, you want to start off with 1000 views a day. Mate, write 500 posts, put them all up in one day, if you getting 2 views per post a day, that’s 1000 views… You’re welcome. The joke thing is, I swear everybody knows this, but they refuse to believe it. If I said to you, “I’ll give you a million dollars, if you start a blog, and reach 100 views by the end of the month.” You will be like, “shiiieeeeet is that all?” So why can’t these people see that they already know the formula, oh yer, because they keep leaving out the most important part of the equation, that they some Lazy ass ninjas! Happy blogging guys :D

Bunji Garlin Representing Soca music, the happiest music on Earth (Good Vibes, Love Carnival) Soaka Special

So I ain’t gonna lie, I am probably the most biased person since I have Trini and Jamaican blood running through my veins. But I feel like somebody needs to put this out there, you just can’t not smile and have a good time when you allow Soca to take over. Carnival time in London is magical, you can be the most pessimistic person, but the moment you hear that Soca banging in your ear drums, something forces your body to dance. Your body simply can’t contain all of the good vibes, and has to burn it off. Just Google Police dancing at… That’s all you need to type, and the next words to come up will be Carnival. Nothing but love.

Personally, I feel like if we are gonna conquer terrorism, and war on Earth, we just need to make everyday carnival, in every City, of every country in the world. I’m sure terrorists and criminals dance too. I grew up on Soca music myself, but that doesn’t take from how much joy it spreads. I’ve never seen White people, black people, Asians, and the police all get down together in one place and just dance like nobody was watching, except at Carnival. If you havn’t been, ignore the rumors, it will be the happiest time of your life. Bunji Garlin although he’s been around since I can remember, he is a pioneer of this new school Soaka style. I don’t want to scare you away with traditional Soca, although it’s amazing. Bunji Garlin is bringing our humble music to the mainstream, and to be honest, I am proud of him. Keep up the good work holmes. Everybody else, keep a smile on your face, and meet me at Carnival this year, only 8 months to go until Nottinghill Carnival, jeeez.

Has Rap Music lost its soul? Hip Hop is Dead? The Lil Wayne vs Biggie debate

So I’m a long time advocate of Hip Hop and Rap music. Since 2005 I have seen article after article about how “Hip Hop is Dead!” There is no explanation; there are no comparisons other than names of artists. To be honest, my opinion is… Stop living in the past. I grew up in the 90’s, there were lots of artists before I got into Hip Hop who I hadn’t heard of, I did my research and listened to the greats of each era. Now I’ll lose so much “street cred” for this type of post, but realistically, street cred ain’t paying no bills. Respect ain’t replacing my 9-5. I have 2 mixtapes out, my last mixtape reached over 1000 free downloads, yet only 40 sales. That mixtape was Hip Hop and earned me plenty of stripes in the Rap and Bboy community (2 of the fundamental areas of Hip Hop). But did any of these dudes pay for my sh*t? Nope, mostly white kids from European countries (not UK). If I rapped over a couple of House beats, I would have probably sold 400 mixtapes, ballin. Before we begin, there might be a lot of points you disagree with, so here's a random disclaimer...

The Jolly Consumer

Here’s the thing, the problem with the state of Hip Hop isn’t down to the artists, it’s the consumer. Think about it, you spend 15 years of your life doing something that earns you respect, but isn’t paying the bills. These same people who aren’t buying your album then have the audacity to turn around and call you a sell-out when a different demographic want to hit you up with some cash for shows, and albums. Ching Ching, c’mon bro, you would do the same sh*t. So what if I have to compromise my art, and change it up slightly to fit the appeal of this new audience. If you were a plumber, plumbing for free for 15 years in the same neighborhood; then some dude comes along from another neighborhood and tells you “mate, come and work for me, you have to change the way you dress, but you will get paid nicely!” Are you really gonna be like, “hell nah, I’m just trying to keep it real, my children and girlfriend will be fine, they street.” Yer f**k that, show me the money holmes!

Hip Hop today, isn’t so bad

So all of you “Hip Hop” heads should be ashamed of yourself for even considering what’s in the charts Hip Hop. Sure the media refer to it as Hip Hop, but they don’t know any better. Why would you be butthurt over what some large corporations are calling it. If you are gonna cry about that, then Hip Hop should be crying over you glamorizing Rap music as the only element of Hip Hop. I’m a bboy myself, and in my opinion, the bboy community has grown in a positive way. Bboy is 1 fifth of what Hip Hop is, just like how rap music is only 1 fifth of Hip Hop. There are 5 elements of Hip Hop, but I don’t feel like educating you on that right now. I find it funny how these Rap fans are crying over real Hip Hop being overlooked by the masses, but they will quickly overlook every other element of Hip Hop. Slap yourself, the world doesn’t revolve around your definitions of what Hip Hop is. The fact is Hip Hop in the mainstream now is this party music that you have grown to detest. But answer me this, do you remember Hip Hop from the 80’s? It was funky, people would dance to it, the lyrics weren’t too deep, it was a get up and dance type vibe. Of course you had some artists who would cover important topics, but in general, people listened to Hip Hop, and danced Hip Hop to have a good time.

Do yourself a favor, find out where the next bboy jam is in your area, click attending on Facebook and go check out some real Hip Hop. You will quickly see how hot the community is right now. Get out of your little bubble, you’re one of the reasons why Hip Hop is seen as dead (your words not mine). Because you ain’t trying to show homage to Hip Hop, you’re upset that your old school rapping ass ain’t making no money from a mainstream medium that wants pop music, not Hip Hop. Hip Hop is bigger than it has ever been, you will find communities anywhere in the world, there are probably some Martians bumping Wu Tang on a spaceship somewhere.

Lil Wayne isn’t the worst rapper alive

We ain’t getting the mainstream back, and let’s be honest now; in the 90’s we only really mention the Hip Hop artists that we remember for being great. You mean to tell me in a 10 year period, you can name around 30 rappers who changed the game? There were plenty more rappers who at the time were brushed off as clowns, or killing the culture. But history never tells the story of the losers, only winners. Who remembers the big money makers from the late 80’s early 90’s like MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice, Tone Loc, PM Dawn? Oh all of a sudden that doesn’t count as Hip Hop right? Exactly what is going on now, went on then, you had rappers who were making money from Hip Hop who weren’t even doing Hip Hop.

Ok finally, if you want to brush aside today’s Hip Hop music as being all about Money, Cars and Bitches… The entire Bad Boy persona was about that. Loon, Lil Cease, Mase, Lil Kim, sorry to say it, but even your boy Biggie. “The back of the club macking the hoes that’s where you’ll find me”, so if this line is a metaphor for some real deep ish, please share it with me. Straight off of the most viewed Biggie track on Youtube. His lyrics are filled with these types of lyrics, although he also created masterpieces, nobody could ever take that away from him. I don’t mind if you have an opinion, just like I don't care if you disagree with mine, and here it is… You are all afraid to move on, you heard Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and Best I Ever had by Drake and dismissed every mixtape, album and feature that anybody in Hip Hop today had to offer. You will never come across a Hip Hop artist you like again because you refuse to give them an actual chance. To be honest, you don’t know what you’re missing, there are too many hot rappers nowadays to even list, but as for the ones who are recognized worldwide, we have Kendrick Lamar, J Cole, Pretty much the whole Odd Future clique, Ab Soul & Chance the Rapper just to name a few. I challenge you to search up any of those artists and hold back from bumping your head to it.

Anyways, long ass post, much love and respect for everybody who made Hip Hop great, rappers, bboys, graffiti artists, DJ’s alike. If you disagree with anything I said in this post, unlucky, go write your own post, it will probably get more views than your mixtape anyway… It worked for me! Always remember, if you want his old s**t, buy his old album.